In September, I took a trip to visit some friends across the pond - specifically to meet in London, pack up a small white VW R2 with two Brits, an Australian and me - then hit the road through Western Europe. Made it to about nine countries in ten days. I've traveled quite a bit, but this time was different. I don't know if it was because of my stage in life, or if it was the company, or if it was the weather (just kidding, it wasn't the weather), but it felt different. Different in a good way. Different in the way where I started questioning my day-to-day life. Gah, midlife crisis!
I'm 35-years-old and single. I don't have any children. I can actually do shit. I kept having these visions of living in the same condo, in the same neighborhood, and working at the same job ten years from now. How. fucking. Terrifying. And, the weirdest part is that everything I've just mentioned is a good thing. My condo is (I guess now "was") in a newly gentrified, hip neighborhood. My job is/was great - no complaints for the most part. But it still felt so un-fulfilling. And if you know me, I don't typically take things for granted. I think more than anything I was bored. I've spent my entire life trying to do what's "right." Went to college, bought a house, worked my way up to a great career and I still wasn't what you'd call happy. Maybe no one is ever "completely" fulfilled. But I at least had to try.
So, on that note, am I crazy? Am I running away from something? Am I going through a midlife crisis?
Maybe. But maybe not. Maybe it's just that the timing was right. Maybe the timing isn't right. You know what they say about hindsight. Maybe I sold my house and quit my job and I will totally regret it and be living on the street six months from now. But maybe not. Maybe it will be a great experience I can look back upon in ten years and say, "wow, that was really something."
My good friend Jerry Gale sent me a poem called The Summer Day, by Mary Oliver. In it she asks, "What is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" Well this is what I plan to do with mine. #yolo